Category Archives: Assertiveness

When Success Eludes Us

It is often an irony that we fear what we also want. We may want success in some particular way, but we are terrified of achieving it and may undermine it. Success brings recognition and that is often very uncomfortable for us. Being visible may have represented danger in the past if we’ve experienced any…


Building Self-esteem

In an ideal world, all of our experiences growing up would be positive. Our family members would unfailingly give affirming messages about ourselves, ones that told us we were worthy of love.  This kind of treatment would get internalized as positive beliefs and thoughts, such as “I’m a good person” or “I’m love-able”.  Unfortunately, our…


Assertive Beliefs

Assertiveness is not a personality trait but rather a learned set of behaviors.  Assertive behavior expresses what we think and feel in ways that are respectful to others.  If we have not grown up with assertive models to learn from, we may not know how to be assertive or even feel we have that right. …