SAYING YOU ALLOWED ABUSE IS FALSE

When you say you allowed abuse, you are blaming yourself for something over which you had no control. You probably learned to accept this from your partner’s blame and hearing similar media assumptions. Often society makes victims responsible for their abuse, rather than the one who abuses.  

REASONS TO SEE FORGIVENESS AS EMOTIONAL SELF CARE

Seeing forgiveness as emotional self-care may sound strange. Especially if you experienced an abuser telling you to forgive when they haven’t changed. Forgiveness can be premature if done too early. Refocusing on you and your emotions is an important step in healing. Allow yourself to feel anger and find ways to recover from the pain […]

EMPOWERING RESPONSES FOR SETTING BOUNDARIES

Time Out and Broken Record are the last two conflict management skills. As with any assertive skill, assess your safety if someone has a history of being abusive.

ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS: REQUEST AND REFUSAL

This assertive communication skills series begins with two self-defining skills: assertive request and assertive refusal.

ASSERTIVE BELIEFS

Assertive Beliefs is the seventh blog in my empowerment series for victims of partner abuse. You must believe you have the right to be assertive before using skills: this article builds that foundation. It covers definitions, benefits, beliefs that may interfere, an assertiveness skills list, and steps to work on the belief that you have the right to stand up for yourself.

CHANGING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Noticing and adjusting your thoughts is an important mental health skill for everyone. Change negative thinking and you’ll change your life.