Category Archives: Uncategorized

Seeing Domestic Abuse Through a Political Lens

“It’s unfortunate that we all have lived with abuse and that our society tolerates it. I would like to wish the pain away . . . but I know it can also serve a purpose – to help us identify and recognize abuse in the future.” Women’s Voices group participant When I decided to go…

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The Elephant in Our Society

Domestic abuse is more than a personal problem – it’s a societal problem. Any abusive relationship has intensely personal effects, and our first response should be to help victims address these: First, their safety needs – making a safety plan that is tailored for them Domestic abuse programs specialize in this; some therapists and medical…

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The Elephant in Families

Abuse is often invisible to outsiders; those who are aggressive may look like upstanding community members outside the family. Confiding what is happening may be met with disbelief. Family may also feel they need to protect the people they love. Abuse may also be invisible or unnamed within the family. Children may grow up accepting…

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Wisdom

“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” Alexander Pope What a wonderful way to acknowledge a mistake without getting stuck in shame. Shame is fueled by beliefs that we should be…

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Becoming Like a Child

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my 13 month old grandson lately. What a joy! Being with children can be a good way to slow you down and take a look at what is important in your life. My grandson is just beginning to talk but seems to be constantly asking “what is…

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Is She a bitch or a leader?

Is she a bitch or a leader? Is he a wuss or a sensitive man? Both these questions help us become more aware of underlying biases and stereotypes. Healthy functioning allows for flexibility in men’s and women’s roles and behaviors.  Both genders should be able to choose what best suits them. Our socialization about what…

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Working with Controllers

Controlling behavior is the systematic domination and oppression by one person in a way that makes it clear that another person(s)  is not safe physically and/or emotionally.  Control tactics are the tools by which controllers dominate and oppress. Characteristics of control tactics: They are used to get the person’s way by any means it takes….

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We are Thinking Machines

We are constantly making meaning of our world through our thoughts.  All thoughts are neither true nor untrue, they simply are.  Thoughts can be stimulated by what we hear from others, from what we see and learn about the world from our direct experiences, and from what we imagine. The fact that we’re constantly having…

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Birthing Your Dreams

 Birthing is for everyone! If you’re male, I hope you don’t stop reading. The metaphor of giving birth is an apt one. Manifesting what we want in life often brings “labor pains”. Rarely does something just fall into our laps. The process involves: setting our intentions, making plans, sorting through options, problem solving issues, ironing…

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How To Be or Not To Be

That is the question – isn’t it? Too often we don’t bring our attention to the perspectives and attitudes we bring to our interactions. I once heard the idea that focusing on To Be lists is just as important as To Do lists. I think this is phenomenally important. Many of us are great at…

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