Road of Fear of Being Alone

Another seductive highway for controlling relationships is fear of being alone.This road is well traveled by many men and women, regardless of whether they have an abusive relationship.

Relationship billboards promise “Companionship” and “Love” which is something we are naturally attracted to  since we are social animals. Many of us want to have children and continue family traditions so the “Family” advertisement is also alluring. These values are strengths when we pursue them out of desire. This highway is a dead-end when we have to be in a relationship to feel okay about ourselves. Feeling you have to be with someone to emotionally thrive is quite different from the positive of wanting to have partnership and family in your life.

Any path that is paved with fear and based on self-doubt is rife with problems. If we truly believe that we won’t be okay if we aren’t with a partner or someone else, it is more likely that we will accept the “unacceptable” – being treated with disrespect or any other form of abuse. This fear can also influence people to sell themselves short by staying with others when they aren’t truly compatible. Both of these circumstances can result in great unhappiness.

When someone with this issue wants to leave, frequently the belief “I Can’t Do This on My Own” flashes a warning sign in their consciousness and becomes an internal roadblock to leaving. Another neon sign at the relationship exit is “The Devil You Know is Better than the Devil You Don’t.” Even when things are bad, sometimes fear of what you don’t know overcomes fear of what you do.

Self-doubt is the internal “predator” which feeds our belief that we have to stay in relationships regardless of the costs. It also can lead to people going from one relationship to another without taking any time between to heal and grow.

Self-confidence and trusting in your instincts are opportunities for growth if any of this speaks to you. One way to build up your ability to be happy and contented is to call for a consultation.


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