Keeping It Mutual

A healthy relationship has two people who are committed to each other’s best interests. They communicate in words and actions respect and interest in one another. Signs of trouble are:

•  Breaking promises,
• Refusing to commit to a person, project, idea, or date
• Putting off the next level of a relationship indefinitely
•  Forgetting meetings or dates (routinely, not occasionally)
•  Not listening to you or not recalling important information you’ve told them

When people do this a lot, it’s as if they are “keeping their options open”. It is frustrating to be in a relationship with someone like this. It may indicate a deep sense of ambivalence about getting close to anyone. It could also indicate narcissism, meaning the person has difficulty being empathic to or even recognizing others’ needs.

Having mutuality in the relationship – with your needs being as important as the other person’s – is the key thing to notice. People who have attention problems (such as ADD) or some type of brain injury may forget things a lot but that isn’t about commitment or interest.