When you say you allowed abuse, you are blaming yourself for something over which you had no control. You probably learned to accept this from your partner’s blame and hearing similar media assumptions. Often society makes victims responsible for their abuse, rather than the one who abuses.
Leaving or staying—there is no decision that fits everyone. Each person should consider their circumstances. Trust what you see regarding your partner’s behavior and follow your intuition. The following information helps clarify your situation.
This assertive communication skills series begins with two self-defining skills: assertive request and assertive refusal.
Assertive Beliefs is the seventh blog in my empowerment series for victims of partner abuse. You must believe you have the right to be assertive before using skills: this article builds that foundation. It covers definitions, benefits, beliefs that may interfere, an assertiveness skills list, and steps to work on the belief that you have the right to stand up for yourself.
Noticing and adjusting your thoughts is an important mental health skill for everyone. Change negative thinking and you’ll change your life.
Looking at the assumptions that underlie coercive control helps explain why your partner behaves abusively. Sometimes they admit these beliefs, but mostly it’s their behavior that shows you what they believe.
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