Survivors of intimate partner abuse sometimes say they feel overwhelmed by politics. For that matter, many of us do. Overwhelm is a rational response to destructive forms of conflict. A client example: “I can’t listen to my legislator because they talk like my abusive ex.” I view survivors as “canaries in the coal mine” of […]
Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.
Gaslight security begins with recognizing it. Merriam-Webster’s definition of gaslighting: “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories.” It causes confusion, loss of self-esteem, and uncertainty of one’s mental stability.” Gaslighting may seem easy […]
When you say you allowed abuse, you are blaming yourself for something over which you had no control. You probably learned to accept this from your partner’s blame and hearing similar media assumptions. Often society makes victims responsible for their abuse, rather than the one who abuses.
Expressing Emotions and Empathy is the second of the Assertive Communication Skills series. They complete the self-defining skills along with requests and refusals covered earlier.
Calling out abuse means naming what happened” as abuse, coercive control, gaslighting, intimate partner violence, domestic abuse—whatever term feels right to you. It includes acknowledging that the person you love is willing to harm you. This will hurt! However, it’s the beginning step toward freedom.
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