Have you ever noticed that when you are most stressed or challenged, you tend to spin in circles? This can happen in the form of racing thoughts, going round and round with worries, resentments, or regrets. It can also literally happen that we go round and round physically, from one task to another. When this […]
“One of her greatest fears is that her partner will change after she leaves and someone else will reap the reward of her effort. She lives between if I can just hang on long enough, he will change and if I leave and he changes, I will miss out.” Joanna V. Hunter[1] This seductive […]
It is healthy to receive attention and admiration from others as well as to give it. Sometimes in the beginning of a relationship, we feel like the other person can do no wrong. However, if this is too extreme, it can be a danger sign. If you’ve ever been put on a pedestal, you know […]
Another seductive highway for controlling relationships is fear of being alone.This road is well traveled by many men and women, regardless of whether they have an abusive relationship. Relationship billboards promise “Companionship” and “Love” which is something we are naturally attracted to since we are social animals. Many of us want to have children and […]
What gets us to accept blame that is inappropriate? For many, it’s not so much agreement with the blame as fear of “Abandonment”. This sign blazes out in neon at any intersection where they might veer off and disagree with the idea they are at fault. Those whose history has included traumatic abandonment are most […]
The strengths which attract people to this avenue are “Unselfishness” and “Care for Others”. However, controllers warp these values into serving their own interests and neglecting others’ needs. Since unselfishness is never applied to them and caring is defined by whether it is meeting their desires, going down this road has the certain ending of […]
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