Impatience

I’m no longer a daughter. Losing one’s mother is one of life’s big transitions. As she taught me in life, she has also taught me through her death. Being patient:

• with myself and my grieving process.
• with all the numerous details to be dealt with when someone leaves this world.
• with all the complications that arise from insurance and other financial affairs.
• with letting go of the usual activities.

This part of the life’s spiral is teaching me to value what I have, rather than focusing on those things I perceive as more important. We often don’t know what we have until it is lost.

Both my parents had many wonderful qualities, and as is often true, there were lessons learned that I’ve worked to change.  Impatience is one of those qualities that I’ve struggled with.  Composing this poem  some time ago was a healing exercise for me.

                  IMPATIENCE

It veils Reality, distorting the Truth.

     It distracts me from my soul’s purpose –

     To live in love and with simplicity

     Simply loving, loving simply;

     Seeing with loving eyes, loving with seeing eyes;

     Knowing the truth of who I am,

     of who you are,

     of our “we-ness”.

Spirit, let the light of your fire burn in my soul

     removing the veil of impatience,

     so that I might truly listen, see, perceive, and love.

     This is my prayer.

Let impatience smolder and turn to ash.

     Release me from it’s damp stubbornness

    that hinders your alchemy –

     Clinging to shoulds, wants, expectations, preconceptions –

     all of which hide Reality

     and mask the beauty of each person, place, and thing.

Clear the smoke from my eyes,

     so that out of these ashes

     may rise the only thing that is Important –

                              Love

© Jennifer Parker, 2010

Think about the costs of impatience in your life. Sometimes contemplating that helps us bring patience to what we give our attention to today. Let’s make each moment count!

Thank you, Mom, for giving me life and always being there! I’m glad I could be there for you.