THE POWER OF EXPRESSIVE WRITING

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Expressive writing is used to delve deeper into thoughts, opinions, and emotions that are rooted in experiences, memories, and trauma. It is an excellent tool for coping with any stressful situation.

Journaling is another term used, and I often suggest it for anyone experiencing intimate partner abuse. They can use it to notice what they think and feel separate from what a partner wants them to think and feel. This article will delve into benefits, cautions, and guidelines.

Safety concerns for survivors frequently interfere with writing. Consider keeping documents or journals at work or at a friend’s home. If electronic means are used, be sure to password protect them and disguise what it is, but only if you know your partner is not a tech expert. If there is no time away from an abuser, you may have to tuck these ideas away for the future.  

Some people find talking works better for them. If so, writing can be a backup when no one is available or if you’re not ready to disclose it to another person.

Benefits of Writing

James Pennebaker and Joshua Smythe[i] document that those who write about traumas initially experience emotions similar to watching a sad movie, but also indicate a “greater sense of value and meaning.”The study further found that their healthcare visits in the six months after the study were half those of the control group who wrote about superficial topics. Another study found that the immune systems of those who wrote about their trauma were enhanced when compared to those who did not.

Pennebaker and Smythe say neuroscience research indicates that putting fears into words lessens their emotional impact on us.

“They have found that there is a part of the brain, the right prefrontal cortex, involved in effortful control over our emotional states. When this part of the brain ‘turns on,’ other parts of the brain that are related to strong negative emotions—such as the amygdala—are turned off.”  

When Writing is Recommended

Research shows that writing is helpful in examining complicated issues. Examples are:

  • Traumatic experiences
  • Current problems, such as a conflict with someone, a major illness, a problem at work, the death of a loved one, or other losses
  • Life transitions, such as divorce, marriage, and childbirth
  • Reevaluating the direction your life is going, such as work/life balance or how you use alcohol or other drugs
  • Thoughts that interfere with sleep

When Writing is Not Recommended

Any time writing leads to a darker place, stop. For instance, anyone experiencing deep depression or anxiety may not find writing helpful until they’ve sought assistance. Those disorders contribute to interpreting the world in more threatening ways. They also make it harder to let go of negative emotions and thoughts. Writing often makes it worse, so it’s important to seek therapeutic help. After symptoms ease, it can be tried.   

Guidelines on Writing

Writing helps us figure out life events by organizing and understanding our experiences.  We gain perspective and find meaning. However, how we write makes a difference. Here are some points gleaned from my experience and research.

  • One has to tolerate some initial sadness rather than avoid it in order for writing or talking to have benefit.
  • Writing expresses what we think and feel about what happened. There needs to be space for grieving. However, if writing does not progress from there, it will not reap rewards. Eventually, it’s important to focus on what is next. We cannot change the past or another person, but we can decide what we want for ourselves.   
  • Self-reflective writing assists in the moving on process. Delving into the personal impact brings about that greater sense of value and meaning. For example, exploring thoughts and feelings, any positives, lessons for the future, and next steps.
  • When in stressful situations, we often ease it by distracting ourselves or engaging in “low-level thinking,” as Pennebaker calls it. Examples are exercise, hobbies, and staying busy. Focusing on activities that prevent us from thinking and reflecting distracts us from pain. This is useful as a short-term strategy but ultimately does not remove the distress. It takes a lot of emotional energy to suppress our emotions and thoughts. Writing is a longer-term solution.
  • Know the difference between self-reflective and intellectual writing. For instance, journaling about the benefits of writing would not reap the benefits that delving into what you actually feel and think will. Give yourself the chance to dip below the surface. If it feels overwhelming to examine, find a coach or therapist.  
  • Writing should not substitute for action. Understanding gleaned from writing should prepare one for any action needed. If one only writes without taking care of business, it could raise anxiety rather than ease it.
  • Self-reflection helps us understand and reorient our lives. However, it is possible to become self-absorbed if we become obsessed with reflection. This interferes with being empathic, having relationships, and functioning in society. Use self-reflection to find meaning but don’t go down a rabbit hole of endlessly ruminating.

Make Writing Your Friend

Expressive writing is for your benefit, so make it user-friendly. Do not impose rigid rules about how often. Sometimes it’s needed every day and then tapers off. It can also be an occasional tool.

Find a time and place where you will be uninterrupted.

Aim for a reasonable amount of time, say fifteen minutes. Better to go past the time when you’re on a roll, rather than feel pressured about having to write a certain amount.

If you’re having trouble getting started, start with that. Write, “I’m having trouble knowing what to write (or what I feel).” Repeat the sentence if needed. Often just getting that much down unlocks our words. Journals that give writing prompts to start the process are another option. 

Vary how you write. Let’s take the example of a stressful divorce. At different times, you might write about:

  • What happened, examining your thoughts and feelings about it
  • Things you learned about yourself that will benefit you in the future
  • Successes you had in coping
  • Positives from being on your own
  • Issues that arise from being divorced

Writing is a way to know ourselves. It eases us through unsettling times. A bonus: robust self-awareness provides guardrails against accepting coercive control.   

[i] James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D. and Joshua M. Smyth, Ph.D. Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain. (New York: The Guilford Press, 2016)