Healing and creating a new life after abuse are multi-faceted processes. Often, they feel overwhelming. You usually begin the work of creating before you’re healed, so that makes it harder. Here are steps to navigate your path. Take Space First, allow yourself space to reflect on your partner’s behavior and how it aligns with […]
Survivors of intimate partner abuse sometimes say they feel overwhelmed by politics. For that matter, many of us do. Overwhelm is a rational response to destructive forms of conflict. A client example: “I can’t listen to my legislator because they talk like my abusive ex.” I view survivors as “canaries in the coal mine” of […]
The time it takes to leave an abusive relationship is the time you need, so let go of any shame or embarrassment about it. Leaving is not the simple, black and white process many think it is. In order to overcome barriers such as gas-lighting, danger, lack of resources, isolation, and self-esteem injuries, you have […]
Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.
To regain your power in an abusive relationship, you must name what is happening and accept it. Accept what is. Despite how painful that is. Accepting does not mean you approve, agree, or are okay with it. It is also not forgetting or pretending the abuse didn’t occur.
Believing you deserve abuse is an injury from coercive control. Abuse damages your belief in your worthiness, leaving you vulnerable to those who want to dominate.
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