Knowing Who You Are

Knowing who you are has three crucial  elements in healthy relationships.  First, it’s important to know ourselves and what we want in life. Ideally, we enter relationships knowing what is important to us. However, life is a growth process and we keep evolving as long as we’re living. Second, it’s important to know your partner. […]

Recovering from Betrayal and Hurt

It takes time to heal when there has been a betrayal. Sometimes betrayals are so hurtful that the relationship never recovers. Other times, the emotional investment is such that people want to work to grow together rather than apart. There is no “one size fits all” prescription here; we all have to decide which path […]

Taking Things Lightly

Humor and light heartedness grease the wheels of relationships and make them turn more smoothly. I see having a sense of humor as one of the most useful attitudes to have. All attitudes provide a lens though which we view what happens in the world. When we have an active sense of humor, we have […]

Setting Limits

Love should not be unconditional! Perhaps you see this statement as heresy. Let me clarify: we should not condition our love for others on whether they please us or do everything we want them to do. However, there are certain bottom line expectations that have to be met in order for relationships to be healthy […]

Honesty and Responsibility

Honesty is an extremely important quality, and it gets expressed in different ways. First, there is telling the truth about our actions and preferences. When Sam says he is committed to a monogamous relationship, Tammy wants to know he is being truthful and intentional about that. When Sara says she is working late, Joe wants […]

Trust

Relationships without trust are like cars without wheels! They don’t go very well! Trust issues often have more to do with ourselves than they do the other person. A sign of maturity is an ability to trust our own instincts about others. If it doesn’t feel right, it often isn’t. Sometimes we’ve had experiences in […]