In an ideal world, all of our experiences growing up would be positive. Our family members would unfailingly give affirming messages about ourselves, ones that told us we were worthy of love. This kind of treatment would get internalized as positive beliefs and thoughts, such as “I’m a good person” or “I’m love-able”. Unfortunately, our […]
We bond with whatever we experience in our childhood, whether that is positive or negative. Receiving support and encouragement as a child increases self-esteem and confidence. Receiving criticism and negativity reduces those same characteristics. The messages you heard as a child influenced the ways you saw yourself and the world in general. What are the […]
Assertiveness is not a personality trait but rather a learned set of behaviors. Assertive behavior expresses what we think and feel in ways that are respectful to others. If we have not grown up with assertive models to learn from, we may not know how to be assertive or even feel we have that right. […]
Knowing who you are has three crucial elements in healthy relationships. First, it’s important to know ourselves and what we want in life. Ideally, we enter relationships knowing what is important to us. However, life is a growth process and we keep evolving as long as we’re living. Second, it’s important to know your partner. […]
It takes time to heal when there has been a betrayal. Sometimes betrayals are so hurtful that the relationship never recovers. Other times, the emotional investment is such that people want to work to grow together rather than apart. There is no “one size fits all” prescription here; we all have to decide which path […]
Humor and light heartedness grease the wheels of relationships and make them turn more smoothly. I see having a sense of humor as one of the most useful attitudes to have. All attitudes provide a lens though which we view what happens in the world. When we have an active sense of humor, we have […]
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