Hindsight, Insight, and Foresight

Learning from experience (hindsight), self-awareness and honest perception (insight), and intentions informed by prior knowledge (foresight) are some of the most important assets we possess. Ideally, we use our hindsight to inform our present day insights and help us to have good foresight as we’re making choices for the future. Wow, that is a mouthful! […]

Building Self-esteem

In an ideal world, all of our experiences growing up would be positive. Our family members would unfailingly give affirming messages about ourselves, ones that told us we were worthy of love.  This kind of treatment would get internalized as positive beliefs and thoughts, such as “I’m a good person” or “I’m love-able”.  Unfortunately, our […]

Childhood Messages

We bond with whatever we experience in our childhood, whether that is positive or negative. Receiving support and encouragement as a child increases self-esteem and confidence. Receiving criticism and negativity reduces those same characteristics. The messages you heard as a child influenced the ways you saw yourself and the world in general.  What are the […]

Assertive Beliefs

Assertiveness is not a personality trait but rather a learned set of behaviors.  Assertive behavior expresses what we think and feel in ways that are respectful to others.  If we have not grown up with assertive models to learn from, we may not know how to be assertive or even feel we have that right.  […]

Knowing Who You Are

Knowing who you are has three crucial  elements in healthy relationships.  First, it’s important to know ourselves and what we want in life. Ideally, we enter relationships knowing what is important to us. However, life is a growth process and we keep evolving as long as we’re living. Second, it’s important to know your partner. […]

Recovering from Betrayal and Hurt

It takes time to heal when there has been a betrayal. Sometimes betrayals are so hurtful that the relationship never recovers. Other times, the emotional investment is such that people want to work to grow together rather than apart. There is no “one size fits all” prescription here; we all have to decide which path […]