Healthy Relationships

In healthy relationships, there is a balance of power. Each is open to respectful influence by the other. They each care about what is important to the other.  One or the other might slip occasionally into inconsiderate behavior but responsibility is taken if this happens. Having healthy relationships doesn’t mean there is never conflict. Conflict […]

Fledgling Birds

I have enjoyed my new hobby of feeding birds and watching them closely.  One early summer day, I was surprised to see one bird seemed to have trouble landing on a perch.  He would flutter around in mid air and eventually come to rest somewhere other than the bird feeder.  I had just read about […]

Emotional Grounding

When you experience fear, anger, hurt, or any other unpleasant emotion intensely, notice any inclination to bury, devalue, or resist it.  When we do any of these, we lose an opportunity to learn from what we’re feeling. It also frequently means that we stay stuck in these emotions. The saying “what we resist persists” is […]

Assertiveness

Sometimes people are confused about what assertive behavior is. At times, the term aggressive is used interchangeably with assertive. I use the following definitions:  Assertive behavior is any behavior in which you stand up for your self – through expressing feelings, thoughts, opinions, or actions – while also respecting the rights and feelings of others. […]

Keeping It Mutual

A healthy relationship has two people who are committed to each other’s best interests. They communicate in words and actions respect and interest in one another. Signs of trouble are:  Breaking promises, Refusing to commit to a person, project, idea, or date Putting off the next level of a relationship indefinitely  Forgetting meetings or dates […]

Being a Resource for Those in Controlling Relationships – Part 2

Any person who is in the middle of controlling relationship can benefit from someone objectively and respectfully talking to them about their options and avenues for safety. The key is objectivity and respect. You have the possibility of being more objective because you are not emotionally involved. You don’t have a stake in the relationship […]