When you’ve been harmed by an intimate partner, you want them to be accountable for their behavior. You may spend a lot of time asking for this. It’s hard to believe that a loved one can risk the relationship rather than take responsibility for what they’ve done and seek to make changes. When they say […]
If you’ve had an intimate partner hurt you emotionally, physically, or sexually, you may not have thought of it as terrorism. But I bet you’ve felt terror. Sociologist Albert D. Biderman constructed the Chart of Coercion decades ago to describe tactics designed to break the will of captured pilots. Advocates working with intimate partner violence […]
I’m back! It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged because I took time off to complete a book on controlling relationships. My tentative title (since editors often change them) is “Controlling Relationships: the Elephant in Our Society.” I’ll let you know when it’s published. I chose this title because control is often invisible to […]
Controlling behavior is the systematic domination and oppression by one person in a way that makes it clear that another person(s) is not safe physically and/or emotionally. Control tactics are the tools by which controllers dominate and oppress. Characteristics of control tactics: They are used to get the person’s way by any means it takes. […]
It is often an irony that we fear what we also want. We may want success in some particular way, but we are terrified of achieving it and may undermine it. Success brings recognition and that is often very uncomfortable for us. Being visible may have represented danger in the past if we’ve experienced any […]
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