If you’ve had an intimate partner hurt you emotionally, physically, or sexually, you may not have thought of it as terrorism. But I bet you’ve felt terror. Sociologist Albert D. Biderman constructed the Chart of Coercion decades ago to describe tactics designed to break the will of captured pilots. Advocates working with intimate partner violence […]
I’m back! It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged because I took time off to complete a book on controlling relationships. My tentative title (since editors often change them) is “Controlling Relationships: the Elephant in Our Society.” I’ll let you know when it’s published. I chose this title because control is often invisible to […]
Controlling behavior is the systematic domination and oppression by one person in a way that makes it clear that another person(s) is not safe physically and/or emotionally. Control tactics are the tools by which controllers dominate and oppress. Characteristics of control tactics: They are used to get the person’s way by any means it takes. […]
There are two kinds of fear. One is the realistic fear that we experience when we’re in danger. This is rational and self-preservative and a very good thing. The second is fear that is not based on any present danger so some call it irrational fear. However, it often makes sense given our histories. It […]
How fear plays into our internal predators is complicated. Looking at the seductive aspect of fear is not meant to deny the reality of violence and threat that pervades too many relationships. It is important to pay attention to fear; it helps us keep ourselves safe. Please pay attention and protect yourself whenever you are […]
The billboard “LOVE” is a huge draw for us. Romantic love is idealized and romanticized from the time we are young. The portrayal of what love is and our hormones combined lead to unrealistic love expectations for many people. It is natural that we all want to find that special someone. The experience of falling […]
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