Partners’ Accountability

When you’ve been harmed by an intimate partner, you want them to be accountable for their behavior. You may spend a lot of time asking for this.  It’s hard to believe that a loved one can risk the relationship rather than take responsibility for what they’ve done and seek to make changes. When they say […]

DOMESTIC TERRORISM

If you’ve had an intimate partner hurt you emotionally, physically, or sexually, you may not have thought of it as terrorism. But I bet you’ve felt terror. Sociologist Albert D. Biderman constructed the Chart of Coercion decades ago to describe tactics designed to break the will of captured pilots. Advocates working with intimate partner violence […]

Seeing Domestic Abuse Through a Political Lens

“It’s unfortunate that we all have lived with abuse and that our society tolerates it. I would like to wish the pain away . . . but I know it can also serve a purpose – to help us identify and recognize abuse in the future.” Women’s Voices group participant When I decided to go […]

The Elephant in Our Society

Domestic abuse is more than a personal problem – it’s a societal problem. Any abusive relationship has intensely personal effects, and our first response should be to help victims address these: First, their safety needs – making a safety plan that is tailored for them Domestic abuse programs specialize in this; some therapists and medical […]

The Elephant in Families

Abuse is often invisible to outsiders; those who are aggressive may look like upstanding community members outside the family. Confiding what is happening may be met with disbelief. Family may also feel they need to protect the people they love. Abuse may also be invisible or unnamed within the family. Children may grow up accepting […]