Tag Archive for: coercive control

THE TIME IT TAKES TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

The time it takes to leave an abusive relationship is the time you need, so let go of any shame or embarrassment about it. Leaving is not the simple, black and white process many think it is. In order to overcome barriers such as gas-lighting, danger, lack of resources, isolation, and self-esteem injuries, you have […]

HOW TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR

Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.

ACCEPT WHAT YOU SEE TO REGAIN YOUR POWER

To regain your power in an abusive relationship, you must name what is happening and accept it. Accept what is. Despite how painful that is. Accepting does not mean you approve, agree, or are okay with it. It is also not forgetting or pretending the abuse didn’t occur.

BELIEVING YOU DESERVE ABUSE

Believing you deserve abuse is an injury from coercive control. Abuse damages your belief in your worthiness, leaving you vulnerable to those who want to dominate.

SAYING YOU ALLOWED ABUSE IS FALSE

When you say you allowed abuse, you are blaming yourself for something over which you had no control. You probably learned to accept this from your partner’s blame and hearing similar media assumptions. Often society makes victims responsible for their abuse, rather than the one who abuses.  

EMOTIONAL ABUSE HEALING TO CONVERT YOUR PAIN TO GROWTH

Emotional abuse healing takes longer than most physical abuse injuries. Every survivor I worked with said that emotional abuse was more difficult to recover from. Research indicates that it has long-term effects on mental and physical health. Physical abuse adds to emotional injuries, such as loss of self-worth when your partner hurts you. Emotional injury […]